The “Trust Card”: Why Trust Matters When Choosing a Real Estate Advisor

Choosing a real estate advisor is about more than experience, market knowledge or a track record. Whether you're buying or selling a home, trust plays an important role in feeling confident about the decisions you make, and that trust has to be earned.

This week, our team was talking about one of the most important things our clients give us during their home buying or home selling journey. It isn't a contract. It isn't a listing. It is their trust.

I sometimes think of it as the “trust card.” With past clients, we have earned it. With someone who has been referred to us but has never worked with us, we haven't. And there is a significant difference.

When a past client calls us about their next real estate decision—whether it is for themselves or now for one of their adult children—they already know how we work.

They have experienced our process. They know we will provide good information, ask thoughtful questions and help them work through the decisions in front of them. They trust us enough to have open and sometimes difficult conversations about what they should consider doing next. They have given us the trust card.

A Real Estate Referral Isn't the Same as Trust

One of the most interesting parts of our real estate business here in the East Bay is working with people who have been referred to us by past clients.

The person making the referral may completely trust us. But the person being referred to us doesn't know us yet. Many of these people are highly accomplished professionals. They are accustomed to making important decisions, solving complicated problems and being responsible for the outcome. They are very good at what they do.

Then they are asked to place an important personal and financial decision in the hands of someone they have never met. It is understandable that there can be a bit of a tug of war. They haven't experienced how we work. They haven't seen how deeply we listen or how much time we spend understanding the circumstances behind their decision. They have heard about us. They haven't experienced us. So they haven't given us the trust card yet. And that's OK.

Our job isn't to ask for it. Our job is to earn it.

The Questions Behind the Questions

How do we begin? We ask questions. And then we listen. And the first question has nothing to do with price.

Sometimes it is the fifth, sixth or seventh question that gets us to the real reason someone is considering making a move. The first answer may be about the house. The next may be about the market. But if we listen carefully enough, we often discover that the real issue has very little to do with either. There is a reason behind the reason.

Why are you considering making this move? Why now? What is happening in your life that has brought you to this decision? What happens if you don't move? What happens if you do? Sometimes those questions change the entire conversation.

Sometimes the Best Real Estate Advice Is to Wait

There are times when those conversations uncover circumstances that have nothing to do with real estate.

A family may have recently experienced a death. Someone may have just begun the difficult process of divorce. Or they may be dealing with another major life transition while simultaneously trying to figure out where they are going to live.

Moving one's residence is already one of life's significant stressors. Sometimes we discover that our clients are carrying more than enough. In those circumstances, the best real estate advice may not be to buy or sell a home.

It may be to wait. It may be to slow down. It may be to take one thing off their plate until they have had an opportunity to deal with something more important. That may not be what someone expects from their real estate advisor. But it is what we believe our clients deserve.

What should you look for in a real estate advisor? 

A good real estate advisor should do more than help you buy or sell a home. They should ask thoughtful questions, understand the circumstances behind your decision, provide clear and honest information, and be willing to tell you when moving forward may not be the best choice. The goal shouldn't simply be getting to a transaction. It should be helping you make a decision you feel confident about.

What Trust in a Real Estate Advisor Really Means

The trust card isn't permission for us to make decisions for our clients. It is permission to help them make better decisions for themselves.

We don't know what is best for someone else's life. They do. Our role is to bring another perspective. To ask the questions that may not have been asked. To provide the information they need. And sometimes, to tell them something they may not have expected to hear.

Sometimes the answer is: “Let's move forward.” Sometimes it is: “Let's look at a few more options.” And sometimes it is: “I'm not sure this is the right time.”

The trust card is earned one conversation at a time. For our past clients, we are grateful they have given it to us again and again. For those meeting us for the first time, we know we have to earn it. And perhaps that is one of the most important things we do for the people we serve.

Whether we're advising a longtime client or meeting someone for the first time here in the East Bay, that responsibility is the same.

Because ultimately, our job isn't to help someone complete a real estate transaction. It is to help them make a good decision about what comes next.